8 ways to avoid divorce disaster

Avoid divorce devastation:

1. Settle out of court. - Make a list of all of your assets, bills and potential expenses.  Go through the list yourself and highlight in one color all assets, bills and expenses that you are willing to take.  Go to an attorney only if there is a discrepancy of what your decisions are where the cost of the asset you are not willing to agree on exceeds the price that you each will spend for an attorney. (Estimate $1500 each for the attorneys and realize that one spouse will end up with the asset and pay 1500 while the other has no asset and pays 1500.  Make a good business decision.
2.  Take the emotions out of it.   There is NO reason to discuss blame or anger when you have both     decided to end the marriage.  The approach to your prior spouse should be the same as to your insurance agent.
3. Bone up on financial matters.  If you don't know what you have (i.e. you didn't keep the bills or budget) then you may have to do a bit of detective work to cover yourself.  Even if you miss some things, the papers can be drawn up which instructs what happens to those "forgotten assets and liabilities.
4. Deal with debt strategically.  Focus on allotting the liabilities to the person who is on the debt and/or the person who will be affected if a debt isn't paid. (i.e. the person that gets the house must pay the mortgage)
5. Check financial statements.  Find out if there are tax penalties for early withdrawals. Save addresses for contacting companies to change beneficiaries.
6. Alimony vs. child support - child support is state regulated and general has a formula.  Alimony is typically required by someone losing in a trial.  If you seek to settle then understand that alimony is generally a long shot even if you spent the money to try the case.  If you pay any alimony voluntary it should be considered as a gift.
7. Revise lifestyle budget. - While the psychic threshold might well be better off without a stressful divorce it can still stress your wallet.  The costs of moving, replacing items, new deposits for utilities, deciding to rent or own and household good accumulation isn't cheap.
8. Don't forget retirement.  If you have a retirement plan then the Court can consider it to be partly your spouses.  It needs to be considered and if a QDRO is recorded to separate the funds between divorcing persons then a professional should be employed

DIVORCE PARTY

 As an attorney, I am not often surprised anymore by much of what extent people will go to just to prove a point but today, this one did catch me off guard.  Apparently it is now en vogue to have a party when your divorce is final.  The coffin pictures is one of many products that can be purchased which will allow you to take your marriage license and your wedding band and give it a proper burial.  The psychological advantages are obvious but I am not sure about the ettiquette.  Apparently most women who throw the party will invite other divorced friends and make a movie night out of it to watch man-bashing type movies.  Not surprisingly, the divorced men throw parties involving both genders and celebrate a "coming out" of sorts announcing their eligibility.  Either way, it strikes me as a little odd if children are involved that you would make such a festive event out of saying "I Don't" but I hear a lot of weird stories as an attorney so who can judge....